so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
