i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize