be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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