Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
