I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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