We won't sleep together?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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