My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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