butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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