a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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