Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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