Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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