Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
