so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
