Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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