6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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