she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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