I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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