I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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