If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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