i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
