Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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