I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
