how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
