everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
