Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
