Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
are you so shy because you have an std?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
