So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
