Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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