So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
