That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
