Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
