I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize