she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
