no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
