thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Your mouth is God's brothel.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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