Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
