do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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