She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
