I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize