did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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