His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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