How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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