If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
