I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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