I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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