Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
