I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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