If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
