How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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