My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
