Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
