Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
