Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When are your genitals available?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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