420 ftw
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
