Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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