So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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