i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
