the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
