They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
