Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
