...so i touched it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize