You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
