So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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