Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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