Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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