its not stalking. its research.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
