I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize