I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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