A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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