I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
